I remember once feeling good about buying cooking gas for a particular price down the street. Now the customer service from the business owner was 10/10 until one of my sisters asked how long my gas lasted and recommended I changed to a gas filling station or another vendor.
I almost swore she was wrong. As it turned out latter she was not wrong. Cooking Gas lasted double the number of days I was used to. My ignorance was staring at me. However, that is not the issue.
How do you feel when you find out your ignorance played on you? Do you confront, ignore, accommodate, or reason with the people involved?
You see this question right here, almost explains your behavior to everything around you.
The older version of me would confront you and call your bluff just to let you know I am aware of what you did. The more mature version of me would ignore it, especially if the person involved does not mean so much. So let me explain. If there was no emotional involvement in the business deal because of good after-sale service, I would simply pat myself on the back and say to myself, one of us got smarter but that would be the last time we should do that again.
There is the last part that would happen if the person involved is an inner circle, I would do two things, wait for you to observe what you did and when we have the conversation listen to you and tell you my mind.
All these were good until I was called out by an older friend and asked the hard question, what are you scared of? That if you call me out I would think of you less or think of you highly? That you would lose out of favor from me. Be specific tell me?
After much thought, I looked at him like a kid whose cherry was been snatched from his parents
“because I don’t want to offend you”
I would forgive your foolishness today Charles but there would never be the next time if you try this with me you are either calling my bluff by helping me be in check or you take your leave from my life and pretend we never met. In addition, I mean every word I just said.
Something in me died, that thing is called “foolishness”
It’s been long I had met people like him who helped me embrace the real version of me that was subdued every day until I stopped knowing if I was lukewarm or looking for the right time to express myself.
You see the real me demands the ones I roll with to be upfront with me. I get there is emotional intelligence involved in these things like when I send out a newsletter and I get a response from Mr. Charles O’tudor, Mr. Douglas, Mr. West or a new editor reach out to tell me with responses like “kid rewrite that mail ..were you sleeping when you sent it?
Honestly, they remind me at least I cannot dance naked outside one day and claim it is the new dance step because I would be called out by my inner circle who are the ones more ashamed of my nakedness.
I remember a friend of mine once demanding I helped her get some document she would love her mentee to work on for a project, intentionally I sent 5 assumed descriptions of what she meant to pick from and surprisingly she sent me a reply like this
“Charles 5 of them were not what I meant. I cracked up after listening and sent her what I knew she wanted when she saw it she knew it spotted it immediately and I was more impressed she voiced out her mind compared to not trying to offend me by keeping mute.
So I understood well what my older friend meant either by you call my bluff respectfully or you walk out of my life.
For the record, I’m older than she is but she was not scared of wanting to offend me by accepting the first five documents was it.
I swore to an oath long ago to be a work in progress and would always roll with anyone who gives me the opportunity to be this version cos it increases my chances. I am aware of who I am deep inside and know my journey.
I have heard and had that argument of men being egocentric and not wanting to have their ego bruised.
I understand it. However, there comes a time on your journey you must look people in the face and see beyond your insecurities and give them an opportunity to know you would trust them to fight for you and with you. There is also the sandwich approach of appreciation before the main deal is served. You should try it too.
Intentionally I took you on my journey to drive home the obvious “don’t be scared to give your powers away to your circle to call you out of your BS. ( my French was intentional)
There is a reason why we respect great feedback. It has more to do with how thoughtful they were when we were wrong and how valid their praise must be appreciated when they are given.
In the end, we must understand ourselves, surround ourselves with people who even if they do not see the world as we see at least would refuse we play down the fire we carry inside.
Sometimes on our journey, we are in a process. Even if we might appear not ready and prepared, it is our job to consistently show up with zeal, vigor and give your best shot cos that is what matters every day.
Wishing you Godspeed on your journey.
Do you want me to walk with your team or organization this season improving their soft skill sets in the workplace especially Generation Z and Millennials? Then let’s do this, do me a mail, and would be my pleasure sharing knowledge with your team members anywhere in the world.
One of our modules is “present Like a pro” available on our website for only $26 video and $14 audio click on this link http://Check the link http://breakingthecoconut.com/present-like-a-pro/
I would love to create magic with you.
Let’s do this